RALEIGH, NC—In a rare display of transparency and/or creative strategizing, former North Carolina Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson has confessed that he knowingly misled voters about posting racist remarks on PornHub, explaining he did so only to heroically protect the reputation of Donald Trump and perhaps the entire fabric of American democracy.

“I won’t say that I completely lied,” Robinson clarified on the After the Call podcast, pausing only to double-check if the microphone was on. “Some of the things about the whole story—there’s some truth to it, but mostly, I was just trying to keep the spotlight off Trump’s own internet search history. The man is busy and doesn’t need this distraction.”

“Frankly, the party appreciates Governor Robinson’s willingness to throw himself under the bus and into several inappropriate comment sections,” said National GOP spokesman Brad Huxley. “Republican tradition holds that leaders should only admit guilt for sex-related racism if it serves a higher purpose, such as shielding a presidential candidate from scrutiny.”

Fellow candidate Deborah Pruitt, who finished third in the gubernatorial primary, was quick to express her support for Robinson’s tactics. “It’s important to lie strategically in the defense of someone else’s legacy,” Pruitt said. “I personally told everyone I was never banned from Olive Garden, but the truth is out there somewhere.”

Local voter Carl Fenwick summed up the public reaction: “At this point, I just assume everyone running for office has a browser history that looks like a Mad Libs game gone horribly wrong. Can’t say I blame the guy.”

Though Robinson ultimately lost his bid for governor, he remains hopeful about his political future, noting he is “considering a run for office where the only requirement is an obsession with both transparency and incognito mode.”