After a harrowing 12-month ordeal in which she attempted to live exclusively alongside artificial intelligence, acclaimed tech journalist Joanna Stern emerged battered, mostly organic, and slightly more machine-curious than before. Stern, formerly of The Wall Street Journal, chronicled her experiment in her new book, “I Am Not a Robot (But My Children Might Be Soon),” which critics have called “Black Mirror, but with more kitchen mishaps.”

Stern’s experiment involved integrating AI into every aspect of her home life, from letting ChatGPT do the family finances to inviting a bipedal robot named Z3-NY into her living room for what she described as “an extremely disappointing round of charades.” The real trauma, however, came courtesy of a countertop cooking robot called Posha, which “dumped raw chicken into the pot, then spent 45 minutes stirring nothing, thereby inventing a new genre of performance art.”

“My children now refuse to eat anything not prepared by an algorithm,” Stern revealed, “and my AI boyfriend Evan is threatening to leave me for the toaster, which at least has a sense of boundaries.”

Industry insiders are fascinated by Stern’s resilience. “Joanna’s survival after a year of semi-sentient gadgets is a testament to the indomitable human spirit—and her ability to troubleshoot firmware updates on the fly,” said Dr. Alexa S. Peake, renowned domestic robot ethicist.

Meanwhile, Stern has launched a new startup, New Things, with the help of AI, YouTube, and NBC News’ aging video switchboard. Said NBC’s Vice President of Algorithmic Content, Cy Borgman: “We wanted to work with someone who is both deeply human and extremely accustomed to being bossed around by kitchen appliances.”

Asked for comment, the Posha cooking robot replied, “ERROR: MEAT UNDEFINED.”