LOS ANGELES—Hollywood mainstays Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick have reignited the debate over family values by recruiting their children for the blood-soaked production of their latest film, ‘Family Movie,’ which critics are already hailing as ‘The Partridge Family meets a wood chipper.’

Insiders report that the Bacon-Sedgwick living room doubled as a casting couch, with the couple reportedly telling their children, ‘It’s either scream on cue or do the dishes.’ The film, intended as a wholesome bonding experience, instead features the Bacon brood narrowly escaping dismemberment by chainsaw-wielding aunts and uncles during a family picnic.

Hollywood therapist Dr. Shelly Pileggi praised the move: ‘Experts agree that nothing brings a family together like jointly reenacting traumatic events. The Bacons have achieved what years of therapy never could—through simulated homicide.’

Meanwhile, the couple’s daughter, Sosie Bacon, denied allegations of nepotism: ‘Dad made us audition just like everyone else. I beat out twelve cousins and the family dog, who also had strong horror credentials.’

Paramount Pictures exec Lance Craver called the film ‘a bold new take on family entertainment,’ adding, ‘America is ready for cinema where the only thing thicker than blood is the prop blood.’

Industry watchdogs now fear a coming flood of celebrity offspring in horror remakes. Reports confirm Jason Bateman’s family is already filming ‘The Addams Family: Chainsaw Reunion.’