MENLO PARK, CA — In a desperate bid to convince the public that escaping reality is, in fact, a bargain, Meta is now offering the Quest 3S virtual reality headset for $249 at Walmart, complete with a free copy of Batman: Arkham Shadow so you can forget the crumbling state of the metaverse by pretending to be someone who actually has a plan.

Meta insiders say this strategy is designed to counteract recent layoffs at Reality Labs, a move CEO Mark Zuckerberg described as ‘optimizing the matrix by removing people who remember the real world.’ The Quest 3S, which features a full-color passthrough for seeing your own disappointed reflection, is now the most affordable way to don a mask and ignore your problems—without the legal consequences of vigilantism or the bank account of Bruce Wayne.

‘With the Quest 3S, our research shows users can now live out their wildest fantasies of being Batman, fighting crime, and still being late on rent,’ said Meta’s Head of Virtual Marketing, Amber Tyrell. ‘And with the headset’s performance matching that of the Quest 22, it’s almost indistinguishable from reality—at least until your mom asks when you’re moving out.’

One early adopter, Kevin ‘VR Knight’ Ramirez, raved, ‘In Arkham Shadow, I can finally punch clowns in the face without anger management classes. Ten out of ten, would recommend.’ Meanwhile, Walmart electronics associate Brad Jensen assured customers, ‘Yes, it comes with the game. No, it doesn’t come with emotional closure.’

Meta is hopeful that with the addition of free Batman and 128GB of virtual memory, customers will continue to believe that happiness is just one discounted headset away.