CUPERTINO, CA—In a nationwide frenzy that economists are calling “the closest America has come to a gold rush since 1849,” millions of consumers are flocking online and to Apple stores, lured by the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to purchase a $1,599 MacBook Pro for just $1,549—a $50 savings that experts say might last slightly longer than a Genius Bar appointment.

“We’re witnessing history,” remarked tech deal analyst Becky Frampton, as she live-blogged the excitement from her local Best Buy, where shoppers were stampeding past VR Headset displays to get their hands on a 13-inch MacBook Air in the rare ‘sky blue’ color. “One time I saved $75 on a charger that I immediately lost. It was thrilling!”

Apple enthusiast and serial upgrader Jackson Tull was among the first in line. “My M4 MacBook from April was starting to feel inadequate,” Tull confessed. “I’m excited about the M5’s third Thunderbolt port, which I’ll never use, and the nano-texture display add-on. Also, the box is 3% slimmer—game changer.”

Apple spokesperson Megan Tone addressed concerns about buyer confusion regarding their array of nearly indistinguishable products. “Every MacBook now comes in six sizes, five shades of gray, and three RAM configurations. If that’s not choice, what is?” she said, adding, “And remember, you can save an extra $15 on a refurbished model, which is basically new except for the mysterious ‘light cosmetic wear’ and the subtle musk.”

As deal season rages on, sources confirm Apple is already prepping the M6 MacBook Air, rumored to feature an extra loud speaker for announcements about future discounts.