In a technological breakthrough celebrated nationwide, Anker’s new two-headed USB-C cable is being hailed as the greatest advance in marital diplomacy since separate bathroom sinks, providing couples the unprecedented ability to charge two devices simultaneously—and, according to early reports, perhaps even their withering sense of hope.

“Before this cable, my wife and I had to negotiate a complex treaty every night just to juice up our phones,” said local husband Brad Henders, clutching the six-foot braided cord as though it were the original Declaration of Independence. “Now, we both plug in at the same time. Last night, we even made eye contact.”

The cable, retailing for the life-altering sum of $15.99, is available in both noir black and existential white, reflecting the existential crisis solved by Anker. According to technical specifications, it delivers 140W—roughly enough power to resurrect a laptop or, theoretically, a marriage on life support.

Relationship expert Dr. Samantha Glidewell has already declared this device a “modern miracle.” “We used to see petty fights over charging priority escalate into full-blown ‘my iPad is more important than your Kindle’ meltdowns,” she explained. “Now, couples can feud over literally anything else.”

Still, skeptics remain. “I don’t trust a cable that claims it can satisfy two people at once,” said technology blogger Gregor Danes, staring at the tangle of single-port cables in his drawer. “That’s how my last relationship ended.”

As power is automatically allocated to the device that needs it most, experts caution the possibility that Anker’s technology could soon be applied to humans, with energy redirected to “the more emotionally needy partner.” For now, however, most are just grateful for the sweet, dual-charging taste of peace.