At a press conference framed by Union Jack bunting and a single working microphone, Reform UK leader Nigel Farage revealed his party’s latest metamorphosis: it is now, officially, more than just himself talking to the camera.

“We’ve expanded, we’ve modernized, and we now have enough people for a carpool,” Farage declared, flanked by a quartet of equally determined faces. These include ex-Conservative Robert Jenrick, now handling the Treasury brief by default after demonstrating the ability to count to ten, and Suella Braverman, who will lead the Education, Skills and Equalities portfolio in what Farage described as “a bold experiment in open-mindedness.”

To dispel the notion that Reform UK is a one-man band, Farage solemnly announced, “There is now a robust mechanism to stifle all disagreements, so anyone suggesting this is still my show will be politely asked to leave—with security, if necessary.”

“Mr. Farage gave me an instruction manual titled ‘How to Agree with Me,’” Braverman stated, clutching a ring binder labeled ‘For Show Only’. “I look forward to ignoring the voices in my head that aren’t his.”

“Reform UK is building a machine for government,” Jenrick clarifed, “though so far it’s an elaborate Rube Goldberg device that dispenses tea when Nigel sneezes.”

Party member Alan Cumberledge, appointed Minister for Standing in Photos, assured reporters, “We are united behind Nigel, provided nobody ever asks us any questions.”