CANNES, FRANCE — In a move Cannes insiders are calling “mildly confusing but deeply ambitious,” Indian production house Soul Sutra has announced a 12-film Gujarati-language slate at the prestigious Cannes Film Market, boldly attempting to create what experts are already hailing as “the Marvel Cinematic Universe of regional devotional dramas.”

Led by National Award-winning actor-producer Manasi Parekh and singer-producer Parthiv Gohil, Soul Sutra claims the initiative will make more Gujarati films in a single year than most Gujaratis see in a lifetime. “We are committed to flooding the global market with so much Gujarati content that even Swedish film critics will have to learn the word ‘bhajiya,’” said Parekh, while holding a mysterious document labeled ‘Phase One: Laalo and The Sacred Dhokla.’

The announcement has already caused mild panic among international co-producers. Cannes delegate Jean-Claude Baguette expressed concern: “I have received thirty emails about films called ‘Krishna’s Secret Roti’ and ‘Garba Avengers.’ I am not sure if these are real or a regional joke.”

Meanwhile, Soul Sutra’s chief marketing expert, Rita Patel, is optimistic. “We’re revolutionizing cinema by making every film a spin-off of the last one, regardless of plot, genre, or historical accuracy. Our next ten films will all star different actors named ‘Laalo,’ and several will feature musical chase scenes involving rickshaws and ancient deities.”

At press time, Cannes officials reportedly requested emergency subtitles and several liters of masala chai to prepare for what critics now call “the inevitable Gujarati takeover of world cinema.”