HOLLYWOOD, CA — The global economy entered a new era this week as “The Super Mario Galaxy Movie” became the first 2026 film to gross over $1 billion, forcing economists to officially peg world currencies to the movie’s in-universe coin system for the sake of consistency.

Financial analysts report that the film’s unprecedented success has led Wall Street brokers to trade in fire flowers, 1-Up mushrooms, and assorted power stars, with the NASDAQ closing at an all-time high of 14,000 gold coins. “We realized very quickly that the U.S. dollar simply can’t compete with a shiny collectible coin that floats in midair,” explained UBS strategist Connor Donatello. “Frankly, the euro is jealous.”

Audiences have flocked in droves, many citing the movie’s emotional depth, including the iconic scene where Mario contemplates the existential void while free-falling off a rainbow platform. “I haven’t felt this many feelings since I watched Bowser Jr. discover taxation,” said Emma Periwinkle, who has already seen the movie 17 times. “The way Mario eats a mushroom with tears in his eyes—cinematic brilliance.”

Nintendo spokesperson Hiro Tanuki announced plans to further capitalize on the film’s success: “We are currently negotiating with the United Nations to replace all national anthems with the Mario invincibility theme.”

Universal and Illumination are said to be planning a sequel, tentatively titled “Super Mario Galaxy 2: Yoshi’s Crypto Crash,” in which Luigi day-trades NFTs while lost in space.