In a stunning turn for the music industry, actor Tom Hardy, known for portraying unstable menaces on screen, has released a rap album under the moniker “Frankie Pulitzer,” collaborating with underground supergroup Czarface. The album, titled “Czarface Meets Frankie Pulitzer,” immediately drew attention for its lead single, a 17-minute explicit tribute to Oscar-winning actress Kathy Bates, and an unexpectedly literate diss track aimed at Willem Dafoe’s Green Goblin.

The Bates track, “Misery Loves Company (But Not Like This),” features Hardy rapping in a variety of indecipherable accents about his admiration for Bates’ “ferocious energy and unapologetic footwork.” Critics remarked on its NSFW lyrics and baffling references to 1990s VHS rentals. “The minute Tom started freestyling about bathing in melted Blockbuster cards with Kathy Bates, I knew this album was going places,” said fictitious Czarface spokesman Terrence Ruckstein. “We just had to let the man cook.”

Elsewhere on the album, Hardy delivers an 8-minute Shakespearean-style diss aimed at Dafoe’s Green Goblin, titled “To Be Or Not Dafoe,” which reportedly includes a sonnet about pumpkin bombs and iambic threats. Music journalist Janine Ratchett observed, “It’s the first time I’ve heard the word ‘thou’ used in a rhyme with ‘goblin love.’ My ears are confused and a little turned on.”

Hardy himself, speaking through his publicist’s bullhorn, stated, “I wanted to bring Method acting to rap. If Denzel wants to battle, I’ll see him at the Globe Theatre, no mics, just soliloquies.”

The album has broken records for most dramatic monologues per track and left listeners questioning whether art or reality is the true performance.