NEWARK, NJ—In a stunning rebuke to both basic civics and the concept of locations existing, a Biden-appointed judge on Tuesday dismissed former President Trump’s lawsuit against New Jersey sanctuary cities, noting that even a legal win would fail to erase the inconvenient persistence of state borders and the physical world.

U.S. District Judge Maribel S. Zúñiga wrote in her decision that while the Justice Department’s lawsuit targeted Newark, Hoboken, Jersey City, and Paterson for their sanctuary policies, it failed to acknowledge the ongoing existential threat posed by New Jersey still being part of New Jersey. “Even if the DOJ prevailed, these cities would still be, regrettably, within the state of New Jersey, where policies are governed by the state and the metaphysical laws of geography,” Zúñiga stated in her 97-page ruling written entirely on unused NJ Transit tickets.

Legal experts were divided on the implications. “I think this decision sets a dangerous precedent for the continued existence of places,” warned longtime Trump advisor Gilford McPeebles, who once tried to have North Dakota declared ‘illegal.’ “What’s next? Courts refusing to outlaw clouds because the sky still exists?”

Residents of Jersey City offered mixed reactions. “I’m just relieved we weren’t annexed to Delaware,” said local store owner Tina Papadopolous. Meanwhile, DOJ spokesperson Marv Sprottle lamented, “Our biggest problem remains that we can’t stop local governments from being local. It’s honestly very unfair.”

As the DOJ reviews its options, sources confirm that officials are quietly considering their strongest remaining strategy: suing the concept of New Jersey directly.