SARASOTA, FL — In a move hailed by some as a landmark victory for the American legal system’s right to unclog its own arteries, Trump Media and Technology Group (TMTG) announced Friday that it is dropping its much-discussed defamation lawsuit against The Guardian, bravely freeing its legal team to pursue more pressing cases—such as people on Twitter calling Truth Social ‘Truth-ish Social.’

The lawsuit, originally filed after the Guardian suggested federal prosecutors were investigating $8 million in mysterious payments possibly linked to Vladimir Putin, was quietly withdrawn after TMTG lawyers realized that, in their words, ‘It’s hard to win a defamation case when people just keep quoting us.’

‘We simply want to focus on what’s important: protecting Americans from The Guardian’s British sarcasm and the relentless misuse of our trademarked term “truth”,’ explained TMTG’s Chief Legal Strategist, Dallas Bigly, who looked visibly relieved to be moving on to what he called ‘simpler legal battles, like whether a meme counts as libel.’

According to sources, the company is now preparing a new lawsuit against a Florida retiree who typed ‘Truth Social is like Facebook if Facebook was designed by raccoons’ in an AARP chatroom. ‘We’re sending a strong message: Don’t mess with our truth, or we’ll sue you, then unsue you, then sue you again,’ said TMTG’s Acting Head of Litigation, Deena Chad.

British journalists expressed disappointment at the lawsuit’s dismissal. ‘Frankly, I was looking forward to sitting in a Florida courtroom while a lawyer explained memes to a judge,’ lamented Guardian correspondent Crispin St. John. ‘Now, I’ll have to spend my afternoons writing about cricket.’

Legal experts predict TMTG’s next filing will address the existential threat posed by online reviews with fewer than three stars.