WASHINGTON—In a historic revelation at Tuesday’s press briefing, U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Wafflen announced that the beloved U.S. dollar was “an unfortunate typo and an interim solution” that accidentally stuck around for two and a half centuries. Wafflen, flanked by a stack of parchment and an apologetic-looking George Washington impersonator, explained, “The Founders intended to brainstorm a proper name for the new nation’s currency, but then Ben Franklin got ‘distracted by a pretty lightning storm’ and everyone just sort of forgot.”

According to newly declassified documents, alternative names considered in the late 18th century included the ‘Bigglebuck,’ ‘Federal Fun Coupon,’ and ‘Liberty Loot.’ Ultimately, ‘dollar’ was penciled in as a joke by Alexander Hamilton, who reportedly wrote, ‘Let’s just call it the dollar for now, we’ll circle back.’

Economic historian Dr. Glenda Forkes elaborated: “The dollar was meant to be like placeholder text in a brochure—nobody thought we’d actually print millions of them. It’s basically the lorem ipsum of money.”

Many Americans expressed surprise but resolved to carry on. “I always thought the name ‘dollar’ was suspiciously bland,” said Springfield resident Roy Trundle. “I’d have preferred ‘Patriot Bux,’ but I guess it’s too late now.”

The Treasury’s official statement concluded with a reminder that, regardless of its origins, ‘the dollar remains legal tender for all debts, both historic and accidental.’