In a groundbreaking display of international diplomacy, Venezuela’s interim president Delcy Rodríguez praised her controversial agreement this week to allow the United States unprecedented access to 65 billion barrels of Venezuelan oil, in exchange for assurances of ‘limitless benefits’ and complimentary Mar-a-Lago apparel for select Venezuelan dignitaries.

Flanked by a life-sized cardboard cutout of Donald Trump, Rodríguez addressed the nation Saturday, claiming, ‘This deal guarantees Venezuela will absolutely, definitely retain some theoretical ownership of its oil, or at least ownership of the nostalgia for it.’

The deal, brokered after former President Nicolás Maduro was ‘unexpectedly relocated to an undisclosed Floridian golf course,’ has divided public opinion. US President Donald Trump called the arrangement ‘the greatest oil deal in world history. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it—except maybe in 19th-century railroad monopolies.’

However, not all Venezuelans are convinced. Caracas street vendor Maria Fernanda said, ‘I was hoping for electricity or food, but at least now my cousin has a Trump visor.’ Meanwhile, Minister of Strategic Resource Surrender Alejandro Borges insisted, ‘This is a win-win. The US gets our oil, and we get to keep the word “sovereignty” in our national anthem.’

White House Press Secretary Hugh Bigley assured reporters the administration is ‘committed to letting Venezuela visit its oil during the holidays, pending proper security screenings.’