LOS ANGELES — In a shocking turn for the world of courtroom fashion and celebrity legal drama, Grammy-nominated singer D4vd’s entire legal team has withdrawn from his highly publicized murder case, citing an irreconcilable docket clash with next week’s Coachella and, according to one attorney, “an utter lack of readiness for not winning.” The 21-year-old pop artist, who faces charges in the tragic death of 14-year-old Celeste Rivas Hernandez, will now be represented by L.A. County’s public defender, Mark S. Beasley, whose prior celebrity experience includes defending a Golden Retriever from leash-law infractions in 2018.

“When we realized the trial might overlap with both Coachella and the Met Gala, we knew we had to prioritize,” explained former lead attorney Savannah Goldstein, wearing sunglasses indoors and sipping a matcha latte in her office. “Honestly, we’re just not mentally prepared for a criminal defense case where People magazine only gives us one paragraph.”

Sources close to D4vd’s camp say the retreat has left him in ‘excellent hands’—at least, according to the public defender, who stated, “My last client got three years for shoplifting a Hot Pocket, so I’m feeling cautiously optimistic.”

Legal analyst Trent Torvalds told reporters, “It’s rare for a full celebrity legal team to walk away from a case, except for instances of soul-crushing boredom or when their client’s Spotify streams dip below a billion.”

As D4vd’s first court date with attorney Beasley approaches, fans are already voicing support. “He kept my cousin out of juvie for the Xbox theft,” tweeted user @Luv2Dance. “I have no doubt D4vd will be free by Burning Man.”