After snagging the Alienware AW2725DF 27-inch QD-OLED gaming monitor for the rock-bottom price of $499.99—down from its original $649.99—local gamer Bradley Wexler declared he is now, without question, ready to realize his destiny as a slightly above-average player in every online lobby.

“Now that I have a 360Hz refresh rate and 111 PPI density, I’m pretty sure my kill-to-death ratio will leap from 0.8 to at least 0.83,” Wexler said, repeatedly plugging and unplugging both DisplayPort ports for spiritual clarity. “My teammates are going to be blown away by my crystal clear feed of their failures.”

Despite criticism that the monitor’s HDMI port can only hit 144Hz and the apparent lack of video-over-USB-C support, Wexler remained adamant that every millisecond shaved off his response time was another nail in the coffin for his enemies—or at least for his WiFi bandwidth. “People said I was crazy for paying an extra $250 just for colors so saturated they make Skittles jealous,” he continued. “But how else will I see my avatar’s blood in true QD-OLED vibrancy?”

Dell spokesperson Linda Maloney confirmed demand for the monitor had surged, with one buyer reportedly selling his car to finance the purchase. “Studies show most gamers spend more time staring at their monitor admiring loading screens than actually playing,” Maloney revealed. “We’re proud to enhance both experiences.”

Gaming industry analyst Trent Jorgensen concluded, “Alienware’s 22% off sale marks the greatest leap in human gaming ability since the invention of adjustable desk chairs. Sit back, turn on the HDR, and bask in the glory of your incremental improvement.”