In a stunning blow to worldwide economic confidence, global markets continued their freefall Monday as investors raced to understand the ramifications of the so-called “Iran War,” an international event that, according to experts, may or may not exist.

Major Asian indices plummeted as financial analysts scoured news reports and atlases in equal measure. “When someone first told me about the Iran War, I thought they were talking about a new Marvel movie,” confessed Tokyo-based economist Hiroshi Takahashi. “But then the yen started nosediving and half our ramen stocks evaporated. Now nobody’s eating, which is actually hitting the noodle sector harder than expected.”

Frantic supply chain managers across Asia are reportedly googling “Is there a war in Iran?” while U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen called for calm. “Markets are skittish,” Yellen said. “But rest assured, our government is committed to issuing strongly-worded statements about any and all possible wars, real or theoretical.”

Meanwhile, chief oil analyst Svetlana Pirogov voiced confusion from her bunker beneath a London Pret A Manger. “We’ve seen oil prices oscillate because people heard Iran is in a war, then crash again when they realized nobody is really sure who is fighting whom. Right now, my models are mostly based on rumors from my cousin’s WhatsApp group.”

As the world continues to grasp for details, the United Nations has announced it will convene a special session to determine whether the Iran War, in fact, exists, or if it’s simply a typo that spun wildly out of control.