In a historic ruling that experts say could have sweeping implications for America’s favorite pastime—lawmakers running amok—a federal court declared Tuesday that House Democrat LaMonica McIver cannot claim ‘legislative immunity’ for what prosecutors delicately called ‘aggressively introducing an ICE agent to the floor.’

The Biden-appointed judge, Babylyn Gavelworth, sided with Trump’s DOJ, affirming a shocking legal doctrine that ‘assault is not a protected legislative act, even if it improves C-SPAN ratings.’ McIver’s legal team argued unsuccessfully that her right hook was an integral part of congressional debate. ‘If my client can’t perform a physically persuasive rebuttal, is it really democracy?’ asked attorney Chester Laweski. ‘We’re all just making up the rules as we go anyway.’

Outside the courthouse, McIver’s supporters held signs reading ‘Fists Are Free Speech’ and ‘Legislate With All Tools Available.’ Fellow House progressive, Rep. Janella Storm, offered support: ‘If LaMonica’s not allowed to enforce order with her knuckles, what precedent does that set for the Ways and Means Smash Club?’

ICE spokesperson Dale Freezman issued a statement: ‘We appreciate the court’s recognition that being tackled by a Congresswoman falls outside normal government operations.’

Legal scholars warn the ruling could force lawmakers to explore new frontiers in creative immunity claims. ‘I shudder to think what will happen if Congress members realize they’re subject to the same laws as the rest of us,’ said Georgetown professor Dr. Lisa Bludgeon. ‘It’s chaos out there.’