In a stunning display of modern corporate synergy, OpenAI’s president Greg Brockman has officially consolidated 162 executive roles, 14 departments, and at least one janitorial shift under his own job description, after a minor spreadsheet mishap and what sources describe as a ‘careless Tuesday.’

“I left the org chart open for five minutes, and when I came back, everyone else’s responsibilities had been auto-assigned to me by Google Sheets’ ‘Consolidate Power’ add-on,” Brockman explained at a press conference, calmly juggling three laptops, a mop, and the company’s only working card printer.

Interim Chief of AI Snacks, Brad Lightcap, commented before exiting the building: “Honestly, I’m excited. Now Greg can finally experience the thrill of waiting for his own PTO requests to be denied at 2 a.m.”

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman, who recently delegated day-to-day operations to ‘Whatever Greg’s Up To Now,’ expressed optimism: “This new structure allows me to focus on our vision while Greg focuses on everything else that exists. We’re making leadership flatter, in the sense that it’s just him.”

Industry analyst Fidji Simo noted, “For years, they’ve said AI would automate jobs. Who knew it would be Greg’s?”

Brockman, whose LinkedIn now lists his title as ‘President, VP, Director, Intern, and Trusted Confidant to Himself,’ is reportedly on track to issue his own performance reviews, schedule all-hands meetings for 1-on-1s, and sign off on both sides of every annual bonus.