MONTGOMERY, AL—Expressing shock and mild annoyance, Alabama lawmakers were left reeling Tuesday after a panel of three federal judges determined that the state’s 2023 congressional map may have been drawn with more than just cartographic whimsy, but with the intent to favor Republican candidates and gently sideline Black voters.

“Frankly, we didn’t know judges could read maps, let alone our minds,” said Rep. Cletus Dobbins (R-Selma), who chaired the state’s Redistricting Committee. “Next thing you know, they’re going to expect us to follow basic arithmetic when drawing districts. What’s next, using a ruler?”

The blocked map, which depicted Montgomery’s 7th Congressional District as an oddly shaped pretzel wrapping around every Black neighborhood but never quite containing a whole one, was lauded by the Alabama Cartographers Association for “creative use of negative space.”

At a press conference, Gov. Kay Ivey lamented: “If federal judges can just block our maps for so-called ‘intentional discrimination,’ how are we supposed to keep Alabama politics exciting? Expecting us to have two majority-Black districts just because of pesky numbers and laws is a real buzzkill.”

While Alabama officials vowed to appeal, Republican strategist Bubba McGraw suggested a new approach: “What if we just draw the districts in invisible ink next time? Hard to prove discrimination if you can’t see the map.”

As the upcoming midterms approach, the court reminded state lawmakers that the Voting Rights Act still exists, though it was unclear if anyone in the legislature had ever finished reading it.