SEATTLE—In a landmark achievement for both technological progress and aquatic recreation, Amazon announced Thursday that its global network of data centers used a staggering 2.5 billion gallons of water last year, officially surpassing several natural lakes and at least three municipal swimming pools.

According to Amazon’s press release, the data centers now contain enough water to host “a respectable regatta, at least one synchronized swimming team, or perhaps just enough to cool the fevered circuits that decide whether your Prime order ships today or tomorrow.”

“People just don’t understand how thirsty artificial intelligence really is,” said Marsha Denton, Amazon’s Vice President of Data Fluid Dynamics. “These algorithms are running hot, and if it takes a mid-sized reservoir to keep Alexa from melting, that’s a sacrifice we’re willing to make.”

In response to criticism, Amazon boasted about its efficiency improvements, insisting it now only uses the equivalent of two Olympic pools per minute instead of three. “It’s a major step forward in sustainable hydro-computing,” said Dr. Raj Patel, Amazon’s Senior Water Utilization Evangelist, while donning a branded scuba mask.

Several environmental groups expressed concern, but Amazon assured the public it’s giving back to the community. “We’re planning an annual ‘Data Lake Day’ for local kids,” said facility manager Brenda Lutz. “Bring your own towel—just please don’t plug in any toasters.”

Meanwhile, Microsoft declined to comment, though sources indicate they’re quietly drilling for Evian under Redmond.