In a surprising revelation that has left the streaming world abuzz, Apple TV+ has surged to an unprecedented new milestone: almost, but not quite, overtaking the dwindling VHS rental section at your local Blockbuster, according to Nielsen’s latest The Gauge report.

Although Apple TV+ boasts award-winning shows like “Severance,” “Ted Lasso,” and that one with the people in the silo, the platform remains deadlocked in a heated competition with Tubi, Peacock, and several suspiciously named Roku channels believed to be operated out of suburban basements. Despite its $7 billion annual investment in content and Tim Cook’s recent vow to “make the next ‘Sopranos,’ or at least the next ‘Sopranos: The College Years,’” data suggests Apple TV+ still trails behind Pluto TV’s 24/7 Bob Ross painting marathon.

“I thought Apple TV+ was just a screensaver for my MacBook,” admitted local consumer Mollie Hargraves, echoing sentiments of millions who remain unsure if their free trial ever ended. “Wait, they’re still making shows?”

Industry analyst Carl Greebly explained, “Apple TV+ is redefining prestige television by ensuring no one actually watches it. It’s a groundbreaking business model—high art, zero audience.”

When asked for comment, an Apple spokesperson assured, “We’re thrilled to nearly crack the top 20. Our goal remains to create content people might vaguely recall existed, years from now, in a trivia round.”

Meanwhile, HBO executives have reportedly begun beta-testing an app update that simply flashes “Remember Us?” when opened.