WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold move to address the nation’s declining sense of shared celebrity knowledge, federal officials announced Monday that all Americans will now be required to pass a comprehensive pop culture quiz before leaving their homes. The initiative, dubbed Operation Woke Stardust, aims to ensure citizens are adequately informed about the latest emotional award show speeches, country music confessions, rattlesnake-related on-set mishaps, and shocking live TV spoilers.

“Let’s face it, you can’t truly function in society if you don’t know which Jonas Brother cried at the Soul Awards or which Real Housewife fought a python during a table read,” said U.S. Entertainment Secretary Madison Glitter, unveiling the newly developed quiz app, CelebStiq. “The days of not knowing the middle Hemsworth’s astrological sign are over.”

Residents nationwide are already feeling the effects. “I only wanted to buy milk, but they wouldn’t unlock the door until I named all Taylor Swift’s exes in reverse chronological order,” said Peoria homemaker Linda Plimpton, who admitted to getting stuck on the Harry Styles question. “I’ve been sleeping at the 7-Eleven since Tuesday.”

While many support the decision, critics worry about the consequences. “It’s a slippery slope,” warned culture historian Dr. Baxter Munn. “First it’s rattlesnake chaos, then soon you’ll need to identify which Kardashian launched a makeup line with a sentient iguana.” Nick Lachey, who will personally deliver a 30-minute lecture to failing quiz-takers, assured the public, “Don’t worry, I promise to keep spoilers minimal—unless it’s about my divorce.”

Officials confirm the quiz will be updated weekly, with bonus questions on Chris Pratt’s favorite breakfast burrito and live-action remakes of sentient farm equipment.