In a breakthrough moment for fiscal responsibility and personal fulfillment, millions of Americans have begun to replace all meaningful relationships and possess worldly needs exclusively with gadgets under $50. Experts say the phenomenon has been fueled by rising prices, stagnant wages, and a desperate desire to feel something when Prime Day ends.

“At this point, if my emotional support system can’t provide me with customizable touch controls and USB-C, I’m out,” said Donna Lutz, 34, who recently replaced her boyfriend with a Syncwire Magnetic AirGrip and the Ikea Kallsup Bluetooth speaker. “My last relationship only lasted five months. These rechargeable AA batteries have been going strong for a year. You do the math.”

Analysts point to The Verge’s annual list of indestructible yet affordable gadgets as the catalyst for this social realignment. “Why talk to your neighbor when your $19.99 Glocusent LED Neck Reading Light won’t judge your reading habits and provides three brightness modes?” asked consumer psychologist Dr. Kevin Fidget. “Human connection is great, but does it offer a 360-degree spinning magnetic ring? Didn’t think so.”

Some worry that the trend may have gone too far. “My son hasn’t spoken to me in weeks. He just spins a ratcheting phone ring while whispering ‘satisfying click’ over and over,” lamented Marjorie Sanders, a mother of three and former grandmother, now replaced by a Vornado 133 Compact Air Circulator. “At least the fan is always there for me.”

Industry leaders expect the $49-or-less gadget market to surpass the GDP of Belgium by 2026, as consumers realize that backup LED bulbs and folding utility knives ask less of them than a traditional birthday phone call.