SACRAMENTO, CA—In a bold move to redefine accounting, Governor Gavin Newsom’s administration allegedly spent months knowingly ignoring a $2 billion budget error, later dismissing it as standard-issue ‘California Math.’ The discrepancy, tied to CalPERS, went undisclosed even as bean-counters projected a $3 billion state deficit and officials practiced deep, cleansing breaths.

“Listen, when you’re dealing with numbers this big, two billion is basically pocket lint,” explained state Comptroller Delores Funtime. “Frankly, most of us assumed it was a tip left for the custodial staff.”

According to sources, Newsom staffers devised multiple explanations should lawmakers inquire, including ‘large birds stole it,’ ‘it was there last week,’ and ‘Elon Musk blinked weird and now all our computers froze.’ However, none proved necessary as most legislators reportedly preferred not to make eye contact with any budget documents at all.

“If you round down from $2 billion, it’s basically zero. That’s how I’ve managed my personal finances for years,” said Assemblyman Cody Splash, moments before his card was declined at the Capitol vending machine.

Newsom spokesperson Luna Dazzle reassured the public: “Rest assured, the money is safe and sound in our newly expanded, highly classified ‘Miscellaneous’ folder. We’re confident it will balance itself out, possibly after the next big earthquake.”

At press time, California’s official financial forecast was updated from ‘grim’ to ‘sassy unicorn with calculator.’