• Politics

Maine Senate Candidate Assures Voters He’s Only Intimidating in a ‘Friendly, Democracy-Enhancing Way’

Buck MulliganJune 7, 2026

Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner defends himself against allegations of physical intimidation, assuring voters his intensity is simply a bold approach to public service.

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• Politics

Justice Department Argues Only Conga Line of Congress Can Stop $400 Million Trump White House Ballroom, Not ‘Some Silly Judges’

Buck MulliganJune 6, 2026

The Justice Department claims only Congress, not the courts, can prevent President Trump from building a lavish $400 million White House ballroom.

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• Technology

Google Now Allows Influencers to Decorate Search Results With Glitter, Selfies, and Seasonal Stickers, Leaves Rest of Humanity in Plain Text Purgatory

Buck MulliganJune 5, 2026

Google is letting influencers with large online followings customize their search result pages with personalized content while ordinary users remain limited to standard search listings.

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• Sport

Colorado School District Implements ‘Every Boy Gets a Skirt’ Policy for Girls’ Sports Teams

Buck MulliganJune 4, 2026

The U.S. Department of Education warned a Colorado school district for allegedly placing dozens of male students on girls' sports teams under an extreme inclusivity policy.

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• Politics

Colombian Voters Enthusiastically Elect Man Who Promises ‘To Make Coffee Even Greater Again’

Buck MulliganJune 3, 2026

Colombia advances far-right lawyer and Trump admirer Abelardo de la Espriella to a presidential runoff after he narrowly beats leftwing senator Iván Cepeda in the first round.

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• Politics

Jill Biden Reveals Joe Biden’s Only Backup Plan Was ‘More Oatmeal’ and ‘Hope for the Best’

Buck MulliganJune 3, 2026

Jill Biden admitted on television that President Biden’s only plan to survive a second term involved higher oatmeal intake and elaborate napping strategies.

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• Entertainment

Netflix Assigns Directorial Role for ‘Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo’ to Anna Kendrick After Wheel of Directors Landing on ‘A-K’ Section

Buck MulliganJune 2, 2026

Anna Kendrick is set to direct Netflix’s 'The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo' after the departure of two previous directors, marking another dramatic shakeup for the adaptation.

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• Economy

U.S. Treasury Admits Dollar Was Originally Meant as Temporary Place-Holder Currency While Founding Fathers Debated ‘Actual Money Name’

Buck MulliganMay 30, 2026

U.S. Treasury officials revealed that the dollar was originally intended as a temporary name for American currency, but due to historic distraction, it became permanent.

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• Technology

Consumers Flock to 2025 Motorola Razr Ultra for Authentic Experience of Paying Hundreds Less for Phone With Indistinguishable Flaws

Buck MulliganMay 29, 2026

Motorola slashes the price of its 2025 Razr Ultra, sparking a rush among savvy consumers thrilled to spend $699.99 on a phone nearly identical to the latest model, except in green.

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• Technology

Americans Heroically Continue Shopping Memorial Day Sales Weeks After Holiday Ends, Experts Warn Crisis Now ‘Indefinite’

Buck MulliganMay 27, 2026

Americans are still aggressively shopping so-called Memorial Day deals long after the holiday has ended, with retail experts warning of a potential endless sales cycle.

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