• Technology

Amazon’s AGI Lab Leader Resigns to Teach AI How to Tie Its Own Shoes

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 26, 2026

Amazon’s AGI lab chief, David Luan, is leaving the company to pursue efforts to give AI systems more basic capabilities, amid concerns over Amazon’s struggles in the ongoing AI race.

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• Politics

Trump Threatens ‘Obnoxious’ New Tariffs, Promises to Tax EU’s Sense of Superiority

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 24, 2026

Donald Trump has threatened to impose even more 'obnoxious' tariffs on the UK and EU as both parties seek clarity on post-Brexit trade deals following a recent Supreme Court ruling.

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• Politics

Trump Warns Netflix: Fire Susan Rice Or Prepare For Four-Hour Cut Of ‘The Apprentice’ Added To Every Account

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 23, 2026

Donald Trump has threatened Netflix with bizarre retribution if the company doesn't fire board member Susan Rice, vowing to flood accounts with his own reality TV footage.

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• Politics

Democrats Celebrate Supreme Court Ruling: Presidents No Longer Allowed to Play Tariff Monopoly With Real Countries

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 21, 2026

The Supreme Court struck down President Trump's authority to unilaterally impose tariffs, returning trade powers to Congress.

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• Sport

Rai Sports Director Resigns After Confusing Olympic Torch With Pizza Oven, Naming Team Canada ‘The Spice Girls’

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 20, 2026

Paolo Petrecca, Rai Sport's director, resigned after widespread outrage over his Olympic commentary, which featured a series of absurd blunders and bizarre misidentifications during the opening ceremony.

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• Politics

House GOP Unveils Bold Plan to Let Every Regulation Self-Destruct Like a Mission: Impossible Tape

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 19, 2026

House Republicans introduce a bill mandating that energy regulations self-destruct after no more than five years, immediately threatening Biden-era rules and office furniture alike.

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• Technology

Google Pixel 10A Preorders Sweetened With $100 Gift Card, Pocket-Sized Existential Crisis

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 19, 2026

Google offers a $100 gift card and other incentives to customers who preorder the nearly indistinguishable Pixel 10A, further perpetuating the annual cycle of minorly upgraded smartphones.

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• Entertainment

Berlinale Chief Heroically Attempts to Program Film Festival That Offends Absolutely No One, Accidentally Invents New Genre: ‘Blank Screen’ Cinema

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 19, 2026

After facing intense pressure over censorship and funding, Berlinale Chief Tricia Tuttle responds by programming a film festival designed to offend absolutely no one, featuring only blank screens and non-denominational humming.

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• Politics

Colbert Accuses Trump Administration of Mind-Control Censorship After CBS Pulls Interview, Forgets Own Name on Air

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 18, 2026

Stephen Colbert accuses the Trump administration of censorship after CBS pulls his interview with a Texas Democrat, citing mysterious FCC regulations.

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• Politics

Nation Struggles to Keep Hope Alive as Jesse Jackson’s Hope-Keeping License Expires with His Death

Chester P. NonsenseFebruary 18, 2026

Following Jesse Jackson’s death, political leaders and organizations scramble to address the nation’s sudden shortage of licensed hope-keepers.

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