• Politics

Trump Vows to Defend Greenland From Invasion, Mobilizes Coast Guard’s Only Snowmobile

Larry LiteralistJanuary 15, 2026

Donald Trump renews his campaign to acquire Greenland, citing national security, as US officials scramble to prepare a single snowmobile for Arctic patrols.

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• Politics

RFK Jr. Demands Congressional Inquiry Into How Trump Is Still Alive After Consuming Nothing But KFC and Diet Coke Since 2016

Larry LiteralistJanuary 15, 2026

Health Secretary RFK Jr. calls for an official investigation into President Trump's inexplicable survival despite his notoriously unhealthy diet.

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• Entertainment

Hulu Braces For System Overload As Scientists Warn Bob The Drag Queen’s Comedy Special May Be ‘Too Wild’ For Streaming Infrastructure

Larry LiteralistJanuary 15, 2026

Hulu prepares for the potentially catastrophic streaming impact of Bob the Drag Queen’s upcoming comedy special 'This Is Wild.'

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• Economy

NSW Government Shocked To Discover Tax Policies Explicitly Designed To Inflate Housing Market Actually Inflate Housing Market

Larry LiteralistJanuary 14, 2026

NSW Government calls for review of capital gains tax discount after discovering it may actually be worsening the housing affordability crisis.

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• Politics

Trump Sues BBC for $10 Billion, Demands Right to Personally Narrate Every Future Documentary About Himself

Larry LiteralistJanuary 14, 2026

Donald Trump has filed a $10 billion lawsuit against the BBC over alleged distortions in a documentary, demanding the right to narrate all future BBC programming about himself.

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• Politics

White House Fundraisers Ask Microsoft to Chip In for ‘Ballroom 365’ Project, Suggest Naming Rights to ‘Clippy’ Wing

Larry LiteralistJanuary 13, 2026

White House fundraisers approached Microsoft to donate towards a $300 million privately funded ballroom, hinting at incentives like naming rights and digital branding privileges.

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• Economy

Trump Urges Fed to Cut Interest Rates Until Dollar Becomes Legal Monopoly Money

Larry LiteralistJanuary 13, 2026

Analysts warn that Trump’s efforts to pressure the Federal Reserve into drastic interest rate cuts could lead to runaway inflation and global economic chaos.

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• Entertainment

Paramount+ Hoping ‘The Running Man’ Will Finally Convince Americans to Start Running

Larry LiteralistJanuary 12, 2026

Paramount+ will stream the action comedy ‘The Running Man’ starring Glen Powell, in hopes it will inspire Americans to recall or attempt physical exercise.

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• Politics

Trump Announces United States Now Offers Free Oil Change with Every Venezuelan Election

Larry LiteralistJanuary 10, 2026

Trump proclaims full US control over Venezuela's oil and policy, describing Venezuela's leaders as cheerfully cooperative and hinting at further Americanization.

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• Politics

National Park Service Reminds Visitors Passes Are For Entering Parks, Not Airbrushing Trump Into Yosemite Waterfalls

Larry LiteralistJanuary 10, 2026

The National Park Service has announced it will void annual passes altered with stickers covering Donald Trump's face after his image appeared on the 2026 pass, sparking protests and a lawsuit.

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