• Politics

Alabama Shocked to Learn Federal Judges Can Read Maps, Intentions

Larry LiteralistMay 27, 2026

A federal court has blocked Alabama from using its newly drawn congressional map, ruling that it intentionally discriminated against Black voters.

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• Sport

Mexico Agrees to Host Iran World Cup Team, Promises ‘Only Mild Amount’ of CIA Surveillance

Larry LiteralistMay 27, 2026

Mexico agrees to host Iran's national football team during the World Cup after the US declines, with the team based in Tijuana while playing matches in the US.

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• Entertainment

Candace Owens Tour Promoter Spends Ticket Money on Boomerangs, Vegemite, Apologizes for Not Understanding How Tours Work

Larry LiteralistMay 25, 2026

15,000 Australians who bought tickets to Candace Owens’ canceled tour will not receive refunds after the promoter spent the money on questionable purchases and then folded.

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• Politics

US DOJ Drops Charges Against Indian Billionaire After Discovering He Knows Trump’s Lawyer, Apparently That’s How It Works Now

Larry LiteralistMay 24, 2026

The US Department of Justice has dropped fraud charges against Indian billionaire Gautam Adani after he hired one of Donald Trump’s lawyers, while also promising billions in investments and thousands of jobs.

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• Technology

Americans Honor Memorial Day Tradition of Deeply Discounted Televisions, Bluetooth Speakers, and the Fallen Prices They Represent

Larry LiteralistMay 24, 2026

Retailers nationwide are commemorating Memorial Day by slashing prices on electronics, encouraging Americans to honor fallen heroes with deeply discounted gadgets.

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• Entertainment

Traveler Achieves Spiritual Enlightenment After Successfully Pairing $49 Bluetooth Adapter with Plane TV

Larry LiteralistMay 23, 2026

A traveler reportedly experiences personal transcendence after using a new Bluetooth adapter to connect wireless headphones to an airplane entertainment system.

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• Entertainment

Pedro Almodóvar Appoints Himself Supreme Monster Classifier, Issues Global Rankings

Larry LiteralistMay 21, 2026

Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar has used his cinematic credentials to publicly classify Donald Trump, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Vladimir Putin as 'monsters,' proposing a new global ranking system for villainous leaders.

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• Technology

Google Search Now Automatically Answers All Questions With ‘It Depends’ As Company Doubles Down On AI Overviews

Larry LiteralistMay 20, 2026

Google announced a major update to its search engine, introducing AI-generated overviews and an expanded search box designed to answer every question with ambiguous, chatbot-powered responses.

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• Sport

Iran National Soccer Team Prepares for World Cup by Practicing in Airports Around the Globe

Larry LiteralistMay 19, 2026

Iran’s national football team began their pre-World Cup training in Turkiye airports because of US visa uncertainties.

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• Entertainment

Nation’s Most Pretentious Shelves Creak As Criterion Collection Goes 30% Off, Causing Spike In Unwatched Films

Larry LiteralistMay 14, 2026

Criterion Collection's 30% off sale prompts mass purchases of unwatched films, leading to nationwide shelf overcrowding and existential guilt among collectors.

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