LOS ANGELES—In an unprecedented event that has shocked both the Hollywood elite and children with disposable income, the highly anticipated ‘Minions & Monsters’ has debuted to a franchise-low $61 million, leaving scores of animated yellow workers scrambling to update their LinkedIn profiles.

Analysts say the film, a 1920s Hollywood-set prequel in which the Minions attempt to unionize while fighting a jazz-loving Frankenstein, failed to capture the zeitgeist. “Frankly, we thought America had an insatiable appetite for minions in various hats,” said Universal marketing executive Lionel Branson, nervously clutching a 3D-printed banana. “Now we may have to pivot to gritty, R-rated Minion content or, God forbid, original ideas.”

The disappointment rippled through the industry. Theater usher and part-time Gru impersonator Shelby Quibble, 32, described the mood at his AMC as “funereal.” “A kid tried to demand a refund in Minionese,” Quibble recounted. “I just handed him a coupon for ‘Supergirl.’ He burst into tears.”

Meanwhile, ‘Supergirl’ experienced a catastrophic 74% drop, which studios blame on “rampant misogyny, competition from golf broadcasts, and the cyclical return of Stranger Things nostalgia.”

As box office forecasters wondered if Americans had finally reached their limit for cinematic extended universes, Minion Kevin was seen outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre applying for a job as a tour bus mascot. “It’s tough out there,” he said through a translator. “Gru says I should learn coding.”

At press time, Universal reassured shareholders that the Minions would return in the dramatic reboot “Minions: Oppenheimer,” currently scheduled for 2026.