In a turn of events that experts are calling ‘deeply clarifying,’ Chinese international student Chen Wei was reportedly sentenced to six years in prison after daring to protest for democracy while physically in Australia—a country that, despite persistent rumors, is not an administrative district of Beijing.

According to court documents released by the Supreme People’s Court of Really Far-Away Crimes, Mr. Wei was found guilty of ‘thought-exportation, unruly banner holding, and attempting to breathe free air.’ The sentencing follows Beijing’s bold new initiative to extend its legal reach to any location touched by the shadow of a Chinese panda in a zoo.

Australian Foreign Affairs spokesperson, Sheila Foster, issued a strong statement: ‘We are gravely concerned and ask the Chinese government to please, pretty please, reconsider. We’re also offering free Tim Tams to any student returning home.’

Chinese Ministry of Interior spokesman Li Actualname applauded the move: ‘If Chinese students want to experiment with dangerous foreign concepts like voting or freedom of assembly, they must accept the consequences—no matter where on Earth, Mars, or the International Space Station they commit these acts.’

Meanwhile, University of Sydney Vice-Chancellor Sir Nigel Delicato insisted, ‘We are shocked. We never imagined that students discussing democracy in between bubble tea runs might encounter trouble at home; our orientation session did mention ‘cultural differences,’ but we mostly meant Vegemite.’

China’s new legal doctrine is already encouraging international campuses worldwide, with reports surfacing of a North Korean student in Paris allegedly sentenced to three years of ‘existential wavering.’