DENVER — In what experts are calling another Thursday in Colorado, Governor Jared Polis has commuted the sentence of notorious election denier Tina Peters following, according to Rep. Lauren Boebert, an intricate diplomatic ballet involving Donald Trump, psychic energy, and a sabotaged water project.

“What people need to understand is, President Trump intervened directly — not by phone, but by thinking really hard about it — and stopped funding for a clean water initiative simply using the power of his mind,” Boebert explained Thursday morning on NewsMax. “That made Governor Polis commute Tina’s sentence out of respect, or possibly confusion. Either way, it’s the art of the deal.”

Local officials remain perplexed, as the clean water project in question has never existed and Tina Peters’ legal problems remain unrelated to aquatic conditions. “I was notified of the commutation via a glittery flyer featuring Trump with glowing eyes, mailed to me by a self-described ‘Patriot Psychic Council’ in Pueblo,” said Colorado Deputy Water Coordinator Tad Withers. “It claimed the water project now exists in the astral plane. Frankly, I’m just relieved it’s not in my budget.”

Tina Peters herself emerged from the courthouse, promising to “audit every drop of Colorado’s molecules” for fraud. “You can’t trust tap water anymore,” she warned supporters. “It’s been infiltrated by leftist nanobots and possibly pandas. The governor knows. Trump knows. Boebert knows.”

Asked for clarification, a Polis spokesperson confirmed, “We just did what Trump’s aura told us to do. You can’t argue with the aura.”

Meanwhile, the Environmental Protection Agency has declared Colorado’s water “as clean as election integrity in Mesa County.”