In a rare display of bipartisan action, the House of Representatives is weighing whether to approve a Senate deal that would, for the first time since February, allow TSA employees to receive actual paychecks instead of the priceless reward of public indifference.

The Senate’s overnight push to fund TSA and most of the Department of Homeland Security shocked commuters nationwide, who had grown attached to the unique experience of being frisked by agents experiencing the five stages of wage denial. “Honestly, I’m not sure I’ll recognize my staff if they start smiling,” admitted TSA Supervisor Carla Duggins at Reagan National Airport. “Last week one of them tried to confiscate a shoe because he thought it was a grilled cheese.”

Some lawmakers expressed concerns about the long-term dangers of adequately funded security. “Our nation was built on the promise that, someday, you could remove your belt in an airport with a clear conscience,” said Rep. Chip Waffle (R-KY). “This reckless move threatens that dream.”

Others, however, voiced support for the paychecks. “I believe in protecting our borders, and also my hands from being covered in cold sweat every time I pat down a carry-on,” said TSA agent Roger Pimsley, while fishing loose change from a novelty fanny pack. “Money would help.”

The bill would also fund other vital DHS services, such as endlessly upgrading those mysterious airport body scanners that absolutely do not store JPEGs of travelers. With passage likely, experts predict security lines will remain exactly the same, except now featuring the faint whiff of hope.