In a bold move to capture the lucrative ‘people who want to feel thrifty while still spending $700 on nostalgia’ demographic, Motorola’s 2025 Razr Ultra has been marked down to a totally reasonable $699.99. Eager bargain-hunters at local Best Buys were seen clutching the foldable relics, reportedly invigorated by the thrill of nearly saving $600 on a product that now more accurately reflects their sense of fiscal responsibility than their self-worth.

“Yes, the 2026 model has an Alcantara finish, but this one lets me pretend I’m making sound financial decisions,” claimed Preston Houlihan, 34, who did not know what Alcantara is but was seen caressing the phone’s vaguely leathery green back with tears of pride. “And the Snapdragon 8 Elite processor is still snappy enough for all the Instagram scrolling I do during work hours.”

Industry analysts say the price point is ideal for consumers who want to be reminded of being poor while still being objectively bad at budgeting. “With all the same internal hardware, it’s almost like buying the new one—except you get to tell people you ‘waited for the deal,’” explained gadget influencer Trisha Y., moments before putting both the 2025 and 2026 models side by side and accidentally picking up her old flip phone from 2004.

Best Buy manager Dan Lichman says the demand is surging: “Customers are thrilled. They can get a nearly identical phone as the latest model, but only have to miss one utility bill this month.” At press time, Lichman confirmed that green was the only color left, citing an inexplicable run on ‘emotionally stable millennial camouflage.’