WASHINGTON, D.C. — Jubilant Democratic leaders took to the microphones Tuesday to hail the passage of Virginia’s new congressional maps, while simultaneously issuing a dire warning to Florida Republicans who, experts say, are just one gerrymander away from inadvertently reconfiguring the state into the shape of a massive middle finger aimed at the rest of the nation.

“Democracy has prevailed in Virginia, unlike in other, more Florida-shaped parts of the country,” proclaimed House Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries, unfurling what appeared to be a map of Virginia with districts shaped like various American folk heroes. “Ron DeSantis should learn from this before his cartography team accidentally triggers an emergency session at the United Nations.”

Political analyst Dr. Chip Manderly noted the potential risks: “With every new Florida map, the panhandle gets taller and the peninsula gets more spiteful. At this point, we’re just a few Sharpies away from an obscene hand gesture visible from space.”

Republicans, meanwhile, remain undeterred. Florida redistricting czar Chet Buttonwood brushed off concerns: “As long as the new districts keep looking like snakes, swords, or Disney characters on acid, we think voters will be happy—if they can find their polling place.”

In an unrelated development, the Senate prepared to vote on its fifth War Powers Resolution, with Senator Tammy Baldwin assuring reporters, “If this one doesn’t work, we’ll simply try passing a resolution to stop passing resolutions.”

Observers say the ultimate impact of these legal gymnastics remains unclear, though satellite imagery of Florida is currently under review for ‘obscene intent’.