WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that set off shockwaves in both the Capitol and the nation’s questionable Facebook groups, the House of Representatives has passed a bill extending protections for Haitian migrants residing in the U.S., leaving some citizens worried that the next group to get help might be the nation’s embattled hot dog cart operators.

The bill, which drew support from 10 Republicans and all Democrats, is seen as a direct rebuke to the Trump administration’s beloved policy of ‘Only Let In Migrants Who Can Pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.’ President Trump immediately vowed to veto the bill, citing his longstanding opposition to anything that contains the word ‘protections’ or ‘Haitian.’

“Let’s be honest, these migrants are just here for America’s #1 resource: free WiFi,” said Rep. Doug Butterworth (R-OK), who voted against the bill after reportedly receiving a vision of Ronald Reagan shaking his head disapprovingly in a dream. “Next thing you know, Congress will start passing protections for people who cut in line at Chipotle. This is a slippery slope.”

Meanwhile, Rep. Linda Montclair (D-CA) insisted the measure is necessary: “America is a nation of immigrants—except for when it’s inconvenient for my reelection campaign.”

Not all reactions were negative. “I’m thrilled,” said self-identified Clevelandian Milo Forbes, who admitted he had accidentally wandered into the wrong congressional debate but decided to support the bill upon realizing Haitian migrants “really know their way around a food truck.”

The bill now heads to the Senate, where it faces a tough vote and, if passed, a probable veto. Meanwhile, unlicensed hot dog vendors nationwide remain in limbo, clinging to the hope that America’s next great political cause will finally be them.