NEW DELHI—In a courageous display of international statesmanship, the Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC) has stepped in to shield India-Israel relations from the existential threat posed by people possibly watching a Tunisian docudrama in a Mumbai multiplex.

The Oscar-nominated film, The Voice of Hind Rajab—described by critics as “unbearably powerful” and by the CBFC as “potentially more destructive than a diplomatic incident involving a rogue peacock”—was slated for release this week, until authorities realized that cinema has the uncanny ability to reshape decades-old geopolitical alliances overnight.

“If even a single Indian citizen feels sad during this film, who knows what could happen?” said board spokesperson Priya Dhoot, who spoke through two layers of bubble wrap. “We take no chances. The next thing you know, our ambassadors are exchanging awkward glances at U.N. buffets.”

Distributor Manoj Nandwana of Jai Viratra Entertainment was reportedly warned by officials that the film could “break up” relations between India and Israel. “I was told that the last time someone watched a sad movie, Ambassadors almost unfollowed each other on Instagram,” Nandwana recounted. “We can’t risk that level of global instability.”

Indian cinephile and avid snack enthusiast Gopal Sharma expressed relief. “Finally, someone is thinking of the tie-up deals and co-produced Netflix thrillers. If we let art come between nations, what’s next—diplomatic crises over crossword puzzles?”

At press time, sources confirmed the CBFC is now evaluating whether reruns of Jerry Maguire may endanger trade agreements with Cuba.