In a turn of events that has left authorities, sports fans, and basic anatomy textbooks in stunned silence, Dayton Webber, a quadruple amputee and professional cornhole player, was arrested Tuesday for the alleged shooting of a man during an argument in Emmitsburg. Officers at the scene are reportedly still struggling to piece together the logistics of the incident.

“We’re searching for answers—and, frankly, a diagram,” said Detective Ron Tibbets during a press conference, illustrated by a PowerPoint slide titled ‘Possible Grip Methods.’ “We had to call in a team of forensic occupational therapists just to figure out how he managed to unholster the weapon.”

The cornhole community has been similarly flummoxed. Pro cornhole commentator Susan Greaves stated, “I’ve seen Dayton launch beanbags with his chin and dominate the boards, but I never thought we’d have to consider the projectile range of someone with no arms or legs in a court of law.”

Webber’s longtime rival, Terry ‘Slingshot’ McGuirk, expressed disbelief: “I always said Dayton was unstoppable, but I was thinking more about his perfect tosses, not, you know, firearms.”

Despite widespread confusion, Webber’s inspirational biography, ‘No Limbs, No Limits: How I Beat the Odds at Cornhole,’ has seen a surge in sales, mostly among criminal defense attorneys. Meanwhile, the National Cornhole League quickly issued a statement clarifying that ‘cornhole bags are the only things meant to be tossed at opponents.’