TEHRAN—Chaos erupted on Iranian state television Monday after Mahmoud Nabavian, deputy chair of Iran’s National Security Council and part-time envelope opener, shocked the nation by revealing that the government’s time-honored tradition of ignoring confidential orders from the supreme leader had been, for once, broken.

During an interview segment titled “Nothing To See Here,” Nabavian claimed he had personally seen secret letters from Mojtaba Khamenei, in which the hallowed ayatollah warned the negotiating team not to, under any circumstances, do exactly what they ended up doing. The program was abruptly cut short, reportedly due to a sudden power outage caused by a spontaneous surge of inconvenient transparency.

“In Iran, we prefer to treat supreme leader instructions as inspirational suggestions,” explained veteran envelope resealer Abbas Gharabagh. “Actually following them sets a dangerous precedent. Next, they’ll expect us to read memos at the Ministry of Baffling Regulations.”

A parliament spokesperson, Fatemeh Davari, dismissed the interview as “enthusiastic fiction,” claiming that “everyone knows real secret directives are delivered via enchanted carrier pigeon, not boring old letters.”

“The last time someone disclosed a supreme leader’s letter on air, we had to invent a new state secret just to distract the public,” noted television censor Bahram Maleki, as he nervously unplugged the studio’s only working microphone.

At press time, Nabavian faced prosecution for violating the little-known Article 47b: “Never Say the Quiet Part Out Loud.”