Buckingham Palace has officially confirmed that King Charles III will proceed with his planned state visit to the United States in April, despite minor global inconveniences such as escalating war in Iran, worldwide turbulence, and the looming threat of literal apocalypse. The trip, intended to commemorate the 250th anniversary of American independence, will allegedly continue so long as ‘there are enough seats in Congress unincinerated to fill a quorum.’

‘His Majesty is committed to promoting Anglo-American relations, regardless of whether Washington exists by the time his plane lands,’ Palace spokesperson Reginald Butterworth stated while hastily drawing up alternate routes to avoid clouds of radioactive dust. ‘If necessary, he will deliver his speech to a Congress of cockroaches or to the ghosts of Founding Fathers. The tradition matters.’

Some British officials suggested the visit might be delayed depending on ‘the degree of human civilization remaining on the North American continent.’ Yet, King Charles, ever the statesman, insisted the only thing that could deter his itinerary is ‘a particularly nasty head cold, or tea of insufficient strength.’

White House Press Secretary Juniper Stevens reassured reporters that ‘we believe the King’s visit will be a moving symbol of Anglo-American togetherness, unless, of course, we’re all vaporized in a surprise preemptive strike, in which case future generations can watch the address on a USB drive tied to a cockroach’s antenna.’

Foreign policy expert Dr. Nigel Featherstone added, ‘The King has faced worse, like forgetting his speech notes or having to shake hands with New Jersey state officials. A war with Iran is a walk in the royal park.’

Reports indicate that should King Charles survive and Congress remain standing, his speech will be interrupted only by the occasional air-raid siren or stray vulture.