WASHINGTON—As gas prices across the nation soar past $4 per gallon, Democrats are taking bold new steps to hold former President Donald Trump accountable, accusing him of a clandestine operation in which he personally filled every American gas tank using oil siphoned directly from the Iran War Memorial Pipeline.

“Mr. Trump got up at 2 a.m. every night and drove a truck full of imported Iranian crude to each gas station. It’s in the Congressional Record,” said Rep. Suzan DelBene (D-WA) during a fiery press conference, waving what appeared to be a hand-drawn map of Trump’s secret Pacific Northwest gas route. “This is a textbook case of broken promises and high-octane betrayal.”

Fuel industry experts expressed shock at the revelation. “I always wondered why the pumps smelled faintly of cheeseburgers and cologne,” said Shell station manager Greg Plimpton. “Now it makes sense.”

Republican leaders quickly dismissed the allegations as baseless. “If Trump filled my tank, I’d expect at least a MAGA hat with every gallon,” scoffed Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), who then drove away in an Escalade reportedly powered by 100% American freedom.

In a written statement, the Trump team denied any connection to the Iran War Memorial Pipeline, calling it “another desperate attempt by Democrats to gaslight the nation—a word that, coincidentally, refers to our clean-burning, job-creating energy policies.”

Meanwhile, American motorists are encouraged to blame whichever party is not currently up for re-election, as tradition dictates.