BURBANK, CA — Following the $100 million Memorial Day weekend launch of “The Mandalorian and Grogu,” Disney executives reportedly celebrated by greenlighting 73 new Star Wars spin-offs—one for every Monday through 2026—ensuring audiences are never more than six days away from a fresh battle with the Empire or a heartwarming Grogu burp.

Studio president Linda Blaster called the box office haul “the clearest sign yet that we should never, ever stop making these.” Blaster emphasized, “Our studies show that if we simply put Grogu on the poster, at least $80 million spontaneously appears. For the next film, Grogu will just sit in a bucket for two hours. That’s the whole plot.”

Reporters at the premiere noted several attendees in Mandalorian armor attempting to pay for tickets in Republic credits. “I’m just here for the post-credits scene where Grogu maybe eats Yoda or something. I’d pay to watch him eat a whole Jedi Council,” said self-described mega-fan Rance Gorlax, who legally changed his name to ‘Baby Yoda’ in 2021.

Industry analyst Dakota Vance predicted, “By 2027, over half the nation’s GDP will be generated by Star Wars content, with the other half coming from lightsaber merchandise.”

At press time, Disney announced casting had begun for ‘Tauntaun: Ice Planet Cop’ and ‘Wedge Antilles: Reboots His Wi-Fi,’ demonstrating a bold new era of very familiar storytelling.