In a move industry insiders are calling “the logical next step in home surveillance,” Google has unveiled the TV Streamer 4K, a device that streams movies, manages smart homes, and quietly tracks every errant thought you’ve ever had for just $79.99—a $20 savings you can put towards more intrusive technology.

The Google TV Streamer 4K, now on sale at Amazon, Walmart, and Best Buy, boasts the ability to not only display Dolby Vision-enhanced reruns of The Bachelor but also gather data from all your streaming services, refrigerators, and even the neighbor’s faulty doorbell. “It suggested I watch all eight seasons of ‘Crying Alone in the Dark’ based on my email subject lines and fridge inventory,” said beta tester Paige Donnelly, while dimming her kitchen lights with a voice command she’s sure was heard in Mountain View.

Setup reportedly takes ten minutes, the same amount of time it now takes Google to know what you’ll want for dinner tomorrow and which scented candle calms you after a rough day. “My TV told me who was at the door before they rang the bell. It was me, standing outside, questioning my own agency,” said local man Trevor Mintz, whose house has achieved sentience.

Industry analyst Zeke Hollander praised the device’s unique Matter and Thread connectivity: “It can turn off the lights, recommend a rom-com, and notify you when your smart vacuum needs emotional support. Honestly, I just do whatever it tells me now.”

Meanwhile, Google representatives assured customers that their privacy is paramount. “We only use the data to help people,” explained spokesperson Brie LaMotte. “Like helping you remember to re-subscribe to Google One after we recommend it based on your facial expressions.”