MINNEAPOLIS, MN—In what experts are calling “the most important economic news since the Great Recession,” Target announced Wednesday that select Circle members can receive $30 off when purchasing two Nintendo Switch or Switch 2 games, briefly raising national morale at a critical moment for Western civilization.

A total of 224 eligible games are included in the offer, with highly anticipated titles such as Donkey Kong Bananza, Metroid Prime 4: Beyond, and Mario Kart World available to anyone willing to exchange their last shred of dignity for a Target Circle login. “We hear Americans loud and clear—they want escapism for less than the price of a tank of gas,” said Target spokesperson Riley Clanton while scanning a 14-foot receipt. “By slashing $30 off, we hope to delay our customers’ existential dread until at least the next quarterly earnings report.”

Some shoppers expressed confusion about the discount’s 2:59AM ET expiration time. “That’s when I do all my best impulse purchasing,” said self-described Nintendo loyalist Gary Wheeler. “I’ll just be up, staring into my fridge, and suddenly I own Kirby Air Riders.”

The promotion does not include Pokémon Pokopia, a decision Target claims is part of a strict policy to only discount games that no one’s child actually wants. Circle members are also reminded to purchase a $59 256GB Samsung microSD Express card, described by Target’s website as “the perfect size to store all six hours of unplayed Mario Tennis Fever demos.”

Nintendo responded to the sale in a prepared statement: “We are pleased to see that, yet again, our games are as recession-proof as bottled water and prescription drugs. See you in line.”