In a bold escalation of America’s foreign policy strategy, former President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that he will be authorizing a fresh round of airstrikes on Iran every day until a peace deal is reached, or until he finds something better to do.

Speaking at a hastily organized Mar-a-Lago golf cart press briefing, Trump accused Tehran of ‘playing us for suckers,’ a phrase he reportedly picked up from his brief stint as a New York City subway conductor in the late 1980s. ‘Iran said we were close to peace, and then, out of nowhere, they started negotiating,’ Trump declared. ‘Nobody negotiates with me except for the best real estate lawyers, believe me.’

According to sources familiar with the situation, Trump’s new policy—dubbed ‘Operation Negotiation by Incineration’—will feature sporadic missile strikes, angry tweets, and the intermittent threat of sending the cast of ‘The Apprentice’ to mediate. During the announcement, Trump waved a piece of paper allegedly outlining Iran’s peace offer, which later turned out to be a Chili’s takeout menu with ‘DEAL?’ scrawled in Sharpie.

Trump campaign advisor Todd ‘Tanker’ Bannon explained, ‘We find that blowing stuff up really does wonders for the negotiating table, especially when you set the table on fire first.’ Meanwhile, Pentagon spokesperson Major Lisa Flatline noted, ‘We’re running out of new targets, so tomorrow we might just blow up an empty soccer field. Or a camel.’

Iranian negotiator Hamid Jalili, reached for comment, sighed audibly and said, ‘Honestly, at this point, we’d settle for a ceasefire if America would agree to stop sending Guy Fieri to our embassies.’