PALM BEACH, FL—Following his arraignment on felony charges, former President and part-time legal commentator Donald J. Trump clarified in a televised Mar-a-Lago speech that his attacks on Judge Juan Merchan and his family were not personal, but rather, a bold attempt at transparency that his supporters have come to expect.

“Look, people always say ‘tell it like it is,’ and that’s what I do—even if ‘it’ is about your judge’s cousin’s dog walker’s timeshare in Boca,” Trump declared to a rapturous audience between rounds of shrimp cocktail. “Frankly, if Judge Merchan didn’t want to be criticized, he shouldn’t have birthed a family or taken up judging.”

Top Trump adviser, Chad Wiffler, explained the strategy: “Donald believes attacking the judiciary on a molecular level keeps things fair. The average American hates nepotism—unless it’s someone else’s family.”

Political analyst Tina Carbuncle agreed, observing, “Trump is innovating in the insult space. No one’s ever accused a judge’s extended family of collusion with the deep state before. It’s disruptive.”

Members of the Mar-a-Lago audience, like loyalist Carol Flimspatch, were delighted. “He’s just saying what we’re all thinking,” said Flimspatch. “Which is, apparently, that the entire Merchan family is suspiciously qualified.”

Sources close to Trump say he is currently developing a comprehensive enemies list that includes every judge’s PTA contacts and several second cousins just to be safe.