PALM BEACH, FL—In a bombshell revelation that has shocked legal scholars and delighted insult comedians everywhere, former President Donald Trump confirmed Wednesday that his post-arraignment speech lambasting Judge Juan Merchan and his family was, in fact, ‘step one’ of an innovative legal strategy: ‘Systematically offend anyone within subpoena distance.’

Trump, speaking at his Mar-a-Lago resort in front of supporters and several bronze eagles, explained, ‘If you attack the judge and his family, maybe he’ll recuse himself, maybe he’ll cry, maybe justice will just get confused and leave the room. Either way, I win.’

Legal strategist Rhonda Deal, who studied law for ‘at least two semesters,’ applauded the tactic. ‘Traditionally, defense attorneys advise clients to be respectful of the court. But Trump’s team is thinking outside the jury box—if everyone in the courtroom is personally insulted, sooner or later the legal process itself might just give up.’

Close Trump adviser Gary Spicer provided further insight: ‘This is the Trump Doctrine: attack first, ask questions never. The only way out is through—and over the judge’s feelings.’

Political commentator Skip Manley believes the move could set a new precedent. ‘We may soon see criminal defendants across the country screaming about the prosecuting attorney’s haircut, or sharing embarrassing childhood photos of jurors. It’s a bold new era for American justice.’

Sources say Trump is already preparing fresh material targeting the bailiff’s sock choices ahead of next week’s hearing.