WASHINGTON—In a bold tactical move that experts are calling “either genius or the fastest way to guarantee unemployment,” former President Donald Trump has reignited hostilities with Iran less than a month after claiming to broker “the best ceasefire deal, maybe ever.” The move, unveiled at a campaign rally-slash-casino opening in Las Vegas, was accompanied by the announcement of a limited-time ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ war special.

White House Senior Risk Advisor, Vince Gamble, assured reporters, “The President believes Americans are bored with peace. Let’s face it, nobody casts a ballot for tranquility. War spices up the news cycle—plus, Air Force One gets great mileage.”

GOP strategists, meanwhile, are reportedly “agonizing” over the polling, with Republican National Committee Chairwoman Laura Bombast noting, “Our research shows that 82% of voters oppose renewed conflict. But 17% say they miss the adrenaline, and one guy in Iowa said, ‘Maybe this time, we’ll get the oil.’ That’s called a mandate.”

Asked about the timing, Trump himself clarified, “Look, if you want to distract from bad midterm polls, there’s nothing like dropping a few bombs. People love explosions. Also, my new hotel in Tehran needs some beachfront property.”

While military leaders scramble to figure out the president’s endgame, insiders claim the administration’s next gambit may involve a ‘Ceasefire Clearance Sale.’ As Lt. Col. Randy Plotz explained, “We’re working on an armistice promo code. And, if the polls slip further, maybe a limited-edition peace treaty, autographed by Don Jr.”