TBILISI — The Trump Organization, never one to let minor details like ‘international sanctions’ or ‘ethics’ get in the way of progress, has proudly announced plans for a glittering Trump Tower in the heart of Tbilisi, Georgia. The gleaming skyscraper will rise on land partially owned by the son of Bidzina Ivanishvili, the US-sanctioned former prime minister and local hobbyist billionaire.

Officials from the International Charity Fund Cartu, conveniently located in the Cayman Islands’ fourth-finest post office box, assured reporters that there was “absolutely no conflict of interest, except maybe one or two here or there.” According to documents, the Trump sons—Donald Jr. and Eric—have been personally overseeing the project from their family bunker in Mar-a-Lago, trading design tips over secure fax machines with Ivanishvili’s son, Bera, who is reportedly “excited to finally park his unicorn collection somewhere impressive.”

Asked about potential criticism, Eric Trump brushed off concerns: “Look, we only do business with the most trustworthy oligarchs. If Hunter Biden tried something like this, people would be rioting in the streets. Luckily, we’re immune. It’s in the paperwork.”

A spokesperson for the Trump Organization, Vanya Goldrack, stated, “This partnership celebrates mutual values: ambition, architectural excess, and creative misunderstandings of international law.” Meanwhile, Bera Ivanishvili added, “I look forward to opening my new ‘Sanction-Proof’ penthouse and putting a solid gold welcome mat out for future world leaders in need of a little financial privacy.”

Tour packages are now available, featuring complimentary offshore shell company setup and a souvenir ‘Conflict of Interest’ mug for every visitor.