After Amazon’s recent UI update rendered its Alexa app nearly impossible to use, local tech enthusiast Darren Pilfer reported Monday that he was forced to switch to Apple’s Reminders app, begrudgingly relying on Siri and, at times, his own memory for grocery shopping—a skill he believed extinct since the Obama administration.

“I used to say ‘Alexa, add honeycrisp apples,’ and five seconds later it was everywhere: kitchen Echo, phone, possibly even my microwave,” Pilfer explained while squinting at a hastily scribbled note on his palm. “Now, after the redesign, I spend 12 minutes searching through four tabs, a chatbot, and something called ‘My AI Experiences’ just to add broccoli. I may as well live in the Stone Age.”

Amazon spokesperson Glinda Slate defended the update: “Our new interface prioritizes the generative AI assistant because we believe users want their shopping lists to be written in the voice of a 19th-century poet.”

Compounding his woes, Pilfer admitted Siri presents challenges of her own. “She insists on saying ‘Adding ten pounds of cheese, as you requested,’ even when I ask for eggs. But at least I can find the list. Sort of.”

Pilfer’s wife, Carla, confirmed the household’s technological backslide: “Last week Darren walked into the store and forgot why he was there. He just stood motionless in produce, whispering, ‘Alexa, help,’ until they escorted him out.”

Market analysts predict that if Alexa’s next update makes things any harder, Pilfer will be forced to start carrying a tiny pencil and paper, or, as Slate put it, “embrace analog disruption.”